Welcome to the balancing act.

darlingonfire:

So I’ve calmed down quite a bit from earlier when I was being a giant squid of anger, and all I have to say about the situation publicly is this:

I am a person.

Yes, I am a woman, but I am not defined by that. I am not defined what is in between my legs or on my chest. I am not defined by the the gender I identify with. There is no real way to be a woman, and on top of that, there is no real way to be a person.

Be you a man or a woman, you are a person. As simple as that. You are a human being that is equal to every other person around you, who has the right to think the way that you want, to speak the way that you want, to act the way that you want, to dress the way that you want. You are a human being that has the right to grow your hair long or cut it short, regardless of your gender. You are a human being that has the right to be dominant or submissive in a relationship or none of the above. You are a human being that has a right to choose what you want for yourself in life - as a woman, you are a human being who has the right to choose a position, thought process, stance, attitude, etc. that is equal to or stronger than a male counterpart.

We all have the right to do that. We are individuals. We are unique. We are none of us the same. There is no set of rules that states, “this is how you are supposed to be.” And that is one of the most beautiful things in the world. That is called free will.

Once you start telling other women, or pulling quotes from a book that was written by an inherently (due to his time period) misogynistic man in an age where a woman’s pershonhood was not considered theirs, her appearance controlled by the man who owned her (either her father, brother or husband), her sexuality and identity as a sexual being condemned and persecuted and her rights as a free person completely nonexistent, how to be a real fucking woman is the moment I will loose respect for you. It is the moment you will turn from a friend into a person I do not even want to speak to.

I will not tolerate somebody dictating me to feel less-than, to feel insecure, unconfident and flat guilty. I will not tolerate somebody who does that to other women in a society where we have to fight so hard against society’s perceptions of us regardless. I will not tolerate that kind of behavior.

I have said it before, and I will say it again: I respect your religion, I respect your beliefs and the morals and standards that you hold yourself to. I will respect the way that you worship and I will never tell you any of those things are wrong, for you. But they are not necessarily right for me, or for anybody else, and it’s not okay to put forth a list that says “this is the only way to be a real woman,” especially when most of the traits on that list are the basis of unequal, misogynistic and thinking and based in religious beliefs that in fact, are not right for a good portion of women out there. It’s a part of the problem, not a part of the solution.

The bible is a misogynistic book. It’s hypocritical and in base it is irrelevant to the way that society, women, freedom, identity and right/wrong have progressed. Do not quote it at me and tell me that that the only way for me to be considered a real woman is to be: feminine (what about ‘butch’ women, or pre-op transgender mtf or genderqueer women?), less than/complementing of my man (what about lesbians/single women/asexual or aromantic women), does not feel equal or fight to feel equal to the male gender, to give my soul and mind to a being that I do not necessarily believe in, and am not allowed to feel the feelings that I have been given.

TL;DR: Do not quote the bible at me and tell me that it is the only way for me to be considered a real woman. In fact, do not do that to anybody. If you feel that way for yourself, fine: then say it that way. This is how I feel like I am the best me, as a woman, that I can be. And if you’re not going to do that, kindly understand when I unfollow you or unfriend you because a woman who promotes the kind of thinking that leads to oppression and objectification of women is not the kind of person I want in my life.

Regarding this post.

Okay, so I’m just going to reblog Madison because I am tired as all hell and (as always) she said it first and better. So. There’s that.

I’m also going to add:

• I struggle with my gender image/identity/expression enough without someone telling me the definitions of a “real woman.” I am a real woman, God dammit, and not because I “embrace my femininity” or “rejoice in being a woman.” In fact, there are times when I am doing anything BUT rejoicing that I am physically female (I don’t consider myself trans*, but would definitely say I have periods of strong gender dysphoria.)
• I damn well am going to compete for equality with men. Don’t spend years telling me to stop looking down on myself and then say I should rightfully feel less than half the people I meet. That’s untrue and unfair to me.
• I do NOT feel the need for anyone or anything to control my thoughts and emotions but me, thank you very much. (And yes, that includes the Universe I view as my higher power. It does not control me—I control me.)
• I do not wallow in self-pity, but a woman has every right to complain just as much as a man does.
• I no longer ascribe to the Catholic or Christian faith, but I was raised to. Therefore, religious arguments automatically make me feel guilty for being a bad person, sometimes to the point of triggering unhealthy mindsets. I don;t care what faith you identify with or how you worship—like Madi said, that’s your deal. What I object to is the way it was presented: in such a way that it declares it’s the only right thing. And I disagree with that.

So. Yeah. *ahem*

I’m done now, k? k.

(Source: whatamoonalwaysmeant)