Ah, who are you
who comes creeping up behind me in the dark,
sending your tiny fists against my back? Who sent you?
Who called for you? Leave this place—I have work to do,
and I work alone. Step back!
What I have in my hands doesn’t concern you.
What do you care for its cries? I’m leaving you
in its favor. Don’t try to look—
I promise you, you won’t like what you see. This thing
is too broken; see the blood staining my fingers? No,
it wasn’t my doing—I found it like this, I promise you.
I’m only trying to help.
Keep your mouth shut!
Nothing you can say will help it. Only I can do this.
Do not reason with me. I cannot be swayed.
So what if this beautiful thing twined between my fingers
is a soul?
Do not call for it. Do not reach for it.
Above all, do not love it in its suffering,
for it will not—it cannot—
love you in return.
Now, I really must be going,
I have a soul to—what!
Tell me, did you see where it went?
And what is that beautiful glow in your hands,
flowing up your arms
to touch your heart?
Courtesy of Sarah. :3
Yay, reposting my own pictures!
Hey Juli =) I’m publishing this as an update for you & everyone else.
I’m doing better. My school counselor actually came and knocked on my door this morning. Someone from Tumblr apparently emailed her (or possibly just the school?) yesterday, so right away this morning I knew I had someone looking out for me in person.
I just got out of meeting with her, and we’re working together through February to figure out what else I need to do to stay safe. <3
Finally able to coherently respond to all of you guys.
I love you.
(Also—sound is out of synch D: But my words are more important than my face.)
Right now please just know that if you left a note in my ask or if you signal-boosted from Juli (chevy—winchester) I owe a part of my life to you and I am so fucking grateful.
Right now I need to take some deep breaths and talk to my “real life” friends and my family, and when I think I can talk instead of bawling my eyes out I’ll get on here as in-person as I can (probably a video) and just. Yeah
Thank you. Thank you SO FUCKING MUCH.
I don;t even know what to feel right now, I’m reading all your messages and just. I can’t even.
I have no idea how this happened, but I’m here. I’m still here.
Nick’s webcam has more fun settings than mine.
So here, have some face.
Sarah, the gypsy-warrior goddess of my heart!
I am nothing so great as a gypsy-warrior, but you are lovely <3 Thank you so much!